Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13-14
It’s amazing how much time we spend dwelling on the past but live in the present. Whenever I focus on how much my 2-year-old granddaughter has grown, I ask myself, “Where is the little baby that I used to rock into a peaceful slumber?”
Now that her legs dangle closer to the floor, it’s obvious that she’s slightly too big for my lap, but I refuse to let go. And now as she twists and turn as if my lap is her bed, the tighter I nestle her. I’m certain that as she continues to grow, I will miss these opportunities as well.
Recently, as I watched her running furiously between her dolls, stuffed buddies, and kitchen set, my mind went back to the crawling baby just a few short months ago. And here she was today — running as fast as her little feet would take her.
Focusing on the Past
At times, I focused so much on the way she used to be that I was forgetting to savor the precious moments that we were creating in real time. I was holding on so tightly to what was while making little room for what is. Getting lost in the sauce, I called it — lost in that place where you don’t want to let go but everything around you is moving ahead.
So, no matter how I longed for that baby to return, she was gone. Before long, my granddaughter will be 3, then 4, then 5 and so on. And unless I learn to live in the now moments, I will likely miss their splendor and beauty.
Holding on Too Long
Just as my granddaughter’s life continues to move quickly, my own life has flown by. Just as I was holding on tightly to the “baby” who was now a toddler, I’d held on to my own past much too long. Whether it was past hurts and disappointments, or experiences that I’d much rather forget, I’d given my past so much credence that I was inadvertently carrying its baggage daily.
It wasn’t until I began seeing patterns in my thinking and decision making that I made the connection to my past. I had unwittingly allowed my negative experiences to guide my thinking in unproductive ways. And instead of rising above my thinking, I wallowed in it. I was too far in. But gradually — over time and with the help of the Holy Spirit — I have learned to replace my incorrect thoughts with God’s truths — eventually believing that God knew best.
But it didn’t happen overnight. Far from it. I had to fight with all that was in me to reverse my thinking; to not accept the untruths that I steadfastly believed and feasted upon. It was the Word of God that changed my thinking — that set me free from self-doubt and non-acceptance of who God created me to be.
What I Have Learned Since Then
- My past is simply a part of my life story but it is not the end of the story.
- My past has contributed to who I am but it is not the sum total of who I am.
- I had to go of past hurts and disappointments or they would have overtaken me.
- My past has no power over me — at all.
- I owe my past absolutely nothing.
- God has set me free from my past.
What are you holding on to?
Women in Purpose 