How in the world did I get here? How did self-sabotage become my companion? And how did I not recognize it as the barrier to living a fulfilled life? Years of practice, no doubt. The most likely reason is that I’ve been at it so long that, I no longer had insight into the myriad ways that self-sabotage played out. Oblivious to it. Whether it was procrastination, fear, insecurity, or avoidance, I was so deeply mired in functioning within a familiar context that operating differently was not an option that I’d even considered. Until now.
Why Now?
Because now is the time to take my life back from all the stuff that was holding me back. After all, I had been in a drought far too long. All because of the thoughts that have led me through an underwhelming, under abundant life because of misplaced beliefs. Erroneous thinking. While I’d known for years that “mind is a terrible thing to waste,” my Christian walk and subsequent journey to the center of my soul and back has led to new revelations about who I am, and what God’s intentions were for my life. As He began to peel back layer upon layer of misaligned thoughts, I came upon myself. The nakedness before God – the stripping away of the outer shell was the beginning of an arduous journey within myself to find the true, hidden meaning of my life. It was a time of reckoning and reconciliation of who I thought I was measured against who God knew I was.
The first thing that the God touched was my thought life because more than almost anything else, my thoughts had influence. They already had affected much of my journey because of what I’d accepted as truth instead of the real truth.
Trapped by My Own Thoughts
Here I was — captured by my thoughts. Trapped by what I thought of myself and what others thought of me. Thoughts that refused to elevate themselves with knowledge. Thoughts that held me prisoner within myself. I wasn’t imprisoned by others. Instead, my own mind had captured itself. Held in place with self-limiting beliefs about myself and the world in which I lived. Stymied by feelings that belied God’s truth.
But it was during this time of self-realization, reckoning and mind attention that God began to deal with the stuff – the thoughts — that, by this time, had an ironclad grip. The revelation that I am because of what I think became my impetus for change. It was also during this time that I learned the strategies to unlock my mind and release my ordained potential. And much of it had to do with retraining my mind. I had to teach my mind to think differently – being intentional and mindful about it.
Retraining My Mind
Not an easy task if it’s the only mind that you know and you’re now mature. But it is a necessary one. I had to literally shift my thinking away from those firmly held, self-limiting thoughts to new ones based on the Word of God. I had to not only learn who God said I was but accept it as truth, no matter what I thought about myself personally. And I had to gradually replace my thoughts with the ones that God used to define me. I had to:
- Monitor my thoughts daily to corral any negative thoughts in the making; stopping them in their tracks.
- Meditate on the Word of God and replace my thoughts with the truth of God’s Word.
- Wash my thoughts daily with new thoughts that were pure, lovely, just, honest, true
- Accept what God said over what I or others thought about me.
- Evaluate every thought that came into my mind and discard those against my new truth.
- Talk my mind out of its thoughts.
- Erect a mental mind gate to guard against negative thoughts.
- Think better about myself.
Am I there yet? Hardly. I am still a work in progress.
Women in Purpose 